Post by allie on May 5, 2022 0:30:34 GMT
You can smell the place before you see it. It smells like fire and smoke, molten fat and grilling meat. But there's the metallic note in there too, and a hint of something out of place on the waterfront, something... dirty. Follow those hints of blood and bowels, and they'll lead you to a houseboat with a menu written on a dusty chalkboard, and maroon hoods over the doors and windows that simply read MARIA'S.
HISTORY
Throughout the Pacifica Archipelago, large gatherings - Planetfall, kiln firings, fish-salsa jarrings on the eve of storm season - have always been celebrated by roasting a pig. Nobody knows which Haven pig roast was Maria's first, but in the years leading up to Recontact she was a familar face at all of them. Her arrangement was a simple one: whenever pigs were slaughtered, she would cook what the others wouldn't.
Within a year of Recontact Maria had died of old age; within ten years, Haven's natives had been reduced to a distinct minority in their own city, and her surname had been lost to history. The newcomers, however, brought more intensive agriculture to support their population, and as hog farming expanded the blood and guts Maria had once served only for special occasions became ever more accessible every day.
Maria's, named in her memory, opened in 2179 — poorly. In its first hour it managed to nauseate two customers covered in Spots, and by the end of the first day almost a dozen customers had insisted on speaking to Maria and refused to accept her absence.
There was no going back. From that day forward, the head of the restaurant has always answered to Maria regardless of their actual name and gender. And the restaurant, no matter how many awards it wins, has always been called Awful.
POSEIDON'S MOST OFFAL FOOD
Despite its many changes in ownership, Awful Maria's began as a native establishment and still conducts itself as such; it exists to coexist with other restaurants, not to compete. As a matter of principle, therefore, Awful Maria's does not serve flesh, and happily refers customers to a restaurant nearby that will. (Awful Maria's tries to anchor near other floating pork shops; the other restaurants pay for the honor in blood, heads, and organs, and Awful Maria's repays them with its pickier eaters.) Nor will it serve chitterlings; hit the Floats for that.
What Awful Maria's does serve is its own unique fusion cuisine, blending Haven's historic festive offal dishes with with a number of Latin American (and chiefly Colombian) offerings catering to Biogene personnel and the ever-growing newcomer presence. The menu changes from day to day based on available ingredients, but includes every offering in bold, and at least a few dishes that aren't.
HISTORY
Throughout the Pacifica Archipelago, large gatherings - Planetfall, kiln firings, fish-salsa jarrings on the eve of storm season - have always been celebrated by roasting a pig. Nobody knows which Haven pig roast was Maria's first, but in the years leading up to Recontact she was a familar face at all of them. Her arrangement was a simple one: whenever pigs were slaughtered, she would cook what the others wouldn't.
Within a year of Recontact Maria had died of old age; within ten years, Haven's natives had been reduced to a distinct minority in their own city, and her surname had been lost to history. The newcomers, however, brought more intensive agriculture to support their population, and as hog farming expanded the blood and guts Maria had once served only for special occasions became ever more accessible every day.
Maria's, named in her memory, opened in 2179 — poorly. In its first hour it managed to nauseate two customers covered in Spots, and by the end of the first day almost a dozen customers had insisted on speaking to Maria and refused to accept her absence.
There was no going back. From that day forward, the head of the restaurant has always answered to Maria regardless of their actual name and gender. And the restaurant, no matter how many awards it wins, has always been called Awful.
POSEIDON'S MOST OFFAL FOOD
Despite its many changes in ownership, Awful Maria's began as a native establishment and still conducts itself as such; it exists to coexist with other restaurants, not to compete. As a matter of principle, therefore, Awful Maria's does not serve flesh, and happily refers customers to a restaurant nearby that will. (Awful Maria's tries to anchor near other floating pork shops; the other restaurants pay for the honor in blood, heads, and organs, and Awful Maria's repays them with its pickier eaters.) Nor will it serve chitterlings; hit the Floats for that.
What Awful Maria's does serve is its own unique fusion cuisine, blending Haven's historic festive offal dishes with with a number of Latin American (and chiefly Colombian) offerings catering to Biogene personnel and the ever-growing newcomer presence. The menu changes from day to day based on available ingredients, but includes every offering in bold, and at least a few dishes that aren't.
- Bone broth, available hot (liquid) or cold (gelled).
- Morcilla; every morning Awful Maria's sells morcipan sandwiches and kelp salad as half of a prepackaged takeout breakfast. (The other half is made by an ever-changing assortment of local vendors, ensuring breakfast is rarely the same twice.) By tradition, anyone with the Spots can get one breakfast for free.
- Chicharrones, sizzling away in an electric fryer full of rendered lard.
- Manitas, still cooked to a fairly authentic native recipe despite the Spanish name.
- Tripe soup in the evening; traditionally this meant sopa de mondongo, but the current Maria has started to serve menudo every other night, raising some eyebrows in more understanding circle. The soup is sold by the ladle, but on sopa de mondongo nights anyone with the Spots gets one bowl for free.
- Deep-fried buche was introduced by one of the more recent Marias, but if another floating restaurant nearby is selling hog maws Awful Maria's takes it off the menu that day. Awful Maria's is here to coexist, not to compete; hog maws aren't worth fighting over and there will always be enough customers to go around.
- Sopa de tortuga if there are heads to cook with the brains, or sopa de sesos if not.
- Occasionally criadillas sold by the skewer, or grilled tongue.
- Pasteles negros go on the menu when GEO Peacekeepers rotate in or out of Haven, or if Maria finds out about a large number of Taiwanese arrivals at Prosperity Station. Universally agreed to be Awful Maria's most awful dish, but some customers swear they're as good as the authentic ones in Taipei.